We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
