Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
