uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
