i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
