My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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