hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
