He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
