Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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