dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
