it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
