the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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