I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
is it fun? or sober?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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