he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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