To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
