Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
