We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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