Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize