Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
