you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so let's talk penis.
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I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Found the puke drawer
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
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I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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