Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need to sanitize my soul.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
