he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You can't just leave with hair like that
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
