Swine flu. Run for my life!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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