i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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