he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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