id be glad to
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
