I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
