imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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