Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
