I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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