I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
