you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
