You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
