Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize