He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
sarcasm needs its own font
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
