we're blogging at a bar
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
