you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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