just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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