Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
