i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
