I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
