I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
