Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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