i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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