So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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