theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
