Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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