so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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