You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
