A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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