he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
