Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
