Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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