white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he was CRYING into my vagina
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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