Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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