Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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